i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
