the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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