Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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