oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
