Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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