mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
