i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
