I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i've created a new STD.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
