my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
