Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
