remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How's work?
Spinning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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