It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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