i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
