To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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