My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
