dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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