I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
