I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
