We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
