i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
