he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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