I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
