Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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