masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
