Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
