...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How does it feel to date your dad?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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