He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
