Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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