Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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