New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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