I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
