We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
