Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
