True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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