I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
