I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize