Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
