problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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