the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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