I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
