how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize