so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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