There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
