C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I touched a dick in church today
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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