And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
they need to just BURY HIM!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
