Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
