Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
