So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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