If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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