I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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