guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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