Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't turn off my feet"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
