ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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