The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
