You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
