Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
