This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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