I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
