Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize