her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
