Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
