i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
