I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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