I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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