Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
