you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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