Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
