Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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