Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You may now shotgun with the bride
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
