It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
