Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
