I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
