i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
false alarm. still invincible.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
