I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
